" The Magic of First love is our ignorance that it can never end"
- Benjamin Disraeli
Tama! I will Agree with this qoute! My First Love Give me this illusion; that it will never end. but sadly it ended in a very tragic way. ( not so tragic) haha. basta ewan. Mag lilitanya na lang ako. :''>
NOTE: I just posted his picture here para naman my char effect. I hope he wouldn't mind. :''> for those who will be reading or who have read this entry. just please keep this as a secret as well as the identity of this person. and for those who know who he really is please don't say a word.! :''> nakakahiya!Furthermore,
Whatever things i would write here does not intend anything that will harm his dignity and image. Kung ano po ang isusulat ko tungkol sa kanya sana po ay wag n'yo husgahan. lahat po ng isusulat ko ay parte na ng aming nakaraan at kung may mga masasama man siyang nagawa o mga ugaling di kanaisnais maari po yung mag bago, kaya wag n'yo po siyang husgahan. RESPETO n'yo na lang po. OK?
Aseng
- Ito po ang favorite nickname na tawag ko sa kanya. pero my iba pa po siyang nickname na ako mismo ang nag bansag. gaya ng: bmAN, tSUNAMI, bf, bABY,labs AT kuya.
yes! SIYA NGA ANG AKING fIRST LOVE.tHE FIRST BOy WHO GOT A CHANCE TO OWN mY HEART AT THE SAME TIME HAD A CHANCE TO TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE, TO GET HURT AND MOVE ON! ( SHET! ANG corny! DI KO MAKAYA! PWE! )
i WAS gRADE 4 NOONG NAKILALA KO SIYA. yes. NAPAKABATA KO PA ( BATANG IGAT! EWW!) AND hE WAS ON HIS 2ND YEAR I GUESS? i DIDN'T KNOW HIM,I DIDN'TMIND HIM AND I ALSO DON'T LIKE HIM AT FIRST KASI HE WAS REALLY ANNOYING EVERYTIME PUPUNTA KAMI SA LIBRARY.lAGI KASING MY RESEARCH EH. TAPOS DOON DIN LAGING NAG ME-MEETING ANG MGA ORGANIZATION NA SINALIHAN KO. sA MY STAIRS KASI PATUNGONG LIBRARY ANG TAMBAYAN NILA NG KANYANG BARKADA AT DOON LANG DIN ANG ACCESSIBLE NA DAANAN PATUNGONG LIBRARY GALING SA CLASSROOM NAMIN.eVEN IF i DIDN'T KNOW HIM PA NAG KAKABANGAYAN KAMI SA STAIRS KASI MADALI AKONG MAPIKON ( IKAW BA NAMAN DI KA PADAANIN TAPOS NAG MAMADALI KA). wE BECAME FRIENDS WHEN MY BESTFRIEND INTRODUCED HIM TO ME AT NG MALAMAN KUNG COUSIN N'YA ANG CRUSH KO I TAKE THE CHANCE NA KAIBIGANIN SIYA PARA MAPALAPIT AKO SA COUSIN N'YA KUNG SAKALI ( ISA AKONG DAKILANG MANG GAGAMIT! HAHA.). From then on he became my textmate kasi he asked for my number. :''> hahaha. Ayyy. Di talaga textmate ah. kasi siya lang ang text ng text ako naman walang paki kasi di nga siya ang crush ko. haha. :''> but then, kung wala akong ginagawa pinag tya-tyagaan ko na lang siyang replyan. We became close na din sa text. pero in person hindi pa. tumagal na naging close na din kami( in person) kasi panay din ang lakad ko at social involvement na sa kasamaang palad eh nandoon siya palagi.We become close and eventually we became bestfriends. Siya palagi kung kausap sa phone o di kaya sa personal every lunch break at kasabay ko rin siya umuuwi pa minsan.sa mga panahong iyon naging close din ako sa cousin n'ya. he always teases me and all pag nandyan ang cousin n'ya. pag wala naman at tumatambay kami sa bahay nila he always teaches me how to play basketball. at pa minsan sinasama niya ako sa mga practices at games nila. ako naman itong walang matinong pag-iisip sama lang naman ng sama kasi nandoon cousin n'ya. :''> He became my adviser. my Pillow kung kailangan kung umiyak. He listens to my rant kahit na wlaang kwenta. He also tolerates me sa panonood ng Meteor gardEn noon. He became my Back-up.HE also became my instant brother,Bodyguard at PAPA. :''>
Tapos noong time na nag away kami ng cousin n'ya to the rescue siya. at palagi siya nag papa advice sa aking about sa buhay pag-ibig n'ya. una sa gf n'ya but then when they broke-up my mystery girl siya na di n'ya talaga pinapa kilala sa akin.
then, biglang poof! he courted me. busted agad. then he trie again after a few months. and i gave him a chance. sasagutin ko na sana siya ng na bisto ako ng parents ko kaya ayun na udlot. :''> kaya M.U muna kami for the meantime. hangang sa naging kami ( JUNE 03).
kasi sa totoo lang wala na akong paki sa cousin n'ya. I fell inlove with him suddenly kasi eh. tama nga siguro ang kasabihang " the Bridge is the owner".
the First 4 months of our relationship was ooooohhh! soooo Great! yung feeling na inlove ka to the max. my pa forever effect pa. We would always see each other sa school have endless talks. pupunta siya sa bahay.sabay kami umuuwi. pag may mga lakad naman kasama ko siya.He always make it to the point na makakasama ako sa mga practices nila. Minsan din mag che-cheer ako pag my game sila.tingin kami ng Cine w/ friends or gala sa mall at every sunday at sa mga occasion na my mass ay mag Si-simba kami. but we always keep the distance kasi tago ang relationship namin.mga friends niya/namin, family niya at friends ko lang ang nakakaalam about sa amin .ang akala lang kasi ng iba ( lalo na parents ko) na mag bestfriend Lang kami.
napaka sweet n'yang tao kasi naman pag monthsary namin may mga kung anu-ano siyang pakulo. Like kakain kami sa labas, watch ng cine courtesy of him, punta sa bahay nila at kakain ng kung anu-ano, pasyal sa park, video-oke (tama ba?), he would gave me chocolates, teddy bear, flowers ( kahit na santan or ano pa. pag wala na kaming topic habang na mamasyal or what) at as possible mag hihintay siya ng 12 midnight para ma greet niya ako ng happy monthsary.May wedding ring din kami noon and he gave me a bracelet ( na hangang ngayon nasa treasure box ko pa rin kasama na yung teddy. ) he even dedicated a song for me. ( na naging theme song na rin namin)Before I let you GO
` Our relationship by that time became the most ideal relationship for me. kahit na tago. It gave me all kilig to the bones Factor.IT's as if it's the best thing that happened into my life. ( such ignorance! Shame on me! )
I also dedicated a song for him
First Love:)
Wala. Feel ko lang. At dahil Inlove din ako noon. :)
then as time goes on madaming pag subok na dumaan ang luckily na lagpasan namin.
hangang sa long distance na ang naging relationship namin. doon na talaga na subok.
As i remember, we promised na kakayanin namin. na forever. Na after niya matapos ang course niya tapos makapag trabaho siya at kung maka ipon na ay mag papakasal na kami.( ewww. me ganun? haha such fantasies.!! )
Sa tuwing mag aaway kami i would initiate a break-up at tatawag siya at iiyak!
MAtigas ako noon eh. dapat ako ang masunod kung pwedy pero unti-unti ay naging malambot ako at naging ma unawain.
I was really blinded by love back then. I was so inlove to the point na inaway ko pa ang mga friends ko i don't listen to their advices at naging napakatanga ko. I thought that was it. that was my forever.
pero mali pala ako. nothing is permanent.
then, na balitaan ko na lang na may iba siya. and it's true but he denied it. doon na kami nag ka laboan. then, i finally give up on us. Midnight noon at Anniversary namin when i finally set him free. ginawa ko din iyon dahil i can't contain the pain inside me anymore at wala pa din akong tamang pag-iisip noon.
` after our break-up he tried everything para maki pag balikan pero sadyang manhid na ang puso ko noong panahon na yun.kaya the forever that i was dreaming for had just stayed in my dreams.
`and after months madami akong na laman. na di ko na dapat inalam.
those things are the worse things na akala ko hindi dadating at hindi niya magagawa sa akin. i trusted him so much. but it's too late.
gusto ko siyang awayin.I want to course him to hell! and all.
yun nga ang ginawa ko. pero sa kaloob-looban ko lang.
yung friendship namin dati nawala yun. as in walang wala. What hurts me most ( dati) is that we became strangers in each others eyes.wala kasing closure sa pagitan namin. hindi din namin na ayos ang dapat naming ayosin.
` naging magkaibigan kami ng mag laon pero we are bitter towards each other. and everytime nag kikita kami awkward palagi ang situation. as in. and people around us feel it too.
`When i was on the stage of moving-on madami akong naging panakip butas. madami akong ginamit na tao. I build my walls for me not to get hurt again.
I almost didn't move-on. buti na lang at naka move-on pa ako.
` mula noon I didn't believe in the word ILOVEYOU and FOREVER. para sa aking those two words where just useless. pwedy lang ipamigay sa kahit kanino. they meant nothing to me.
` My first love teach me to gamble in love. it turned me into a two faced person. i became bitter, insensitive and self-centered.It made me become the most stupid liar in this world. It almost ruined my life. Naging ibang tao ako. Ewan ko lang kung na halata ng mga kaibigan ko.and for the first time in my life (back then) I become a LIVING DEAD.
but despite those heart-aches and pain. I thank him a lot because he let me experience love and he let me feel the feeling of being love.he teaches me lessons that i inculcated as i face a new road towards my future.
he also made me into a stronger and wiser person.
Lastly,
`I just hope na mag ka closure pa kami. and as of this momment. I am ok.The memories of our young love was long time been buried in the deepest possible location of my being. It ought to stay there forever. Those memories are just part of my past nothing more.
Thats it!
Sorry if madami ang typo or mis-spelled words. o di kaya gramatical error.
Sorry at my pa video Effect pa.
:D PYONG!!
i hope di kayo na boreD.
I leave you with this quote na lang.
NO LOVE, NO FRIENDSHIP, CAN CROSS THE PATH OF OUR DESTINY WITHOUT LEAVING SOME MARK ON IT FOREVER.- Francios Mauriac
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